According to a news report, a certain school in Garden City, MI was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the washroom.That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. He called all the girls to the washroom and met them there with the maintenance man. He explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, he asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
Well, it appears our African American friends have found something else to be pissed about. A black congresswoman from Houston (Sheila Jackson Lee) reputedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding names. She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture such as Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal. She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in language that street people can understand.
Can you hear it coming now?
A Weatherman in Houston says,... -Wordup, Muthas! Hehr-i-cane Chamiqua be headin' fo' yo ass like Leroy on a crotch rocket! Bitch be a category fo'! So, turn off dem chitlins, grab yo' chirren, leave yo' crib, and head fo' de nearest government office fo' yo' FREE shit.
One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench.
He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton.
The Marine replied, "Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here."
The old man said, "Okay," and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton".
The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here."
The man thanked him and again walked away . . .
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton."
The Marine, understandably agitated at t his po int, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mrs. Clinton. I've told you already several times that Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn't reside here. Don't you understand?"
The old man answered, "Oh, I understand you fine, I just love hearing your answer!"
The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said,
Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers a question time. One little boy puts up his hand. The Senator asks him what his name is. "Kenneth." "And what is your question, Kenneth?" "I have three questions: First - whatever happened to the medical health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years in the office as President? Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office? Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?" Just then the bell rings for reces s. Hillary Clinton informs the kids that they will continue after recess. When they resume, Hillary says, "Okay, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?" A different little boy puts his hand up. Hillary pointed him out and asks him what his name is. "Larry." "And what is your question, Larry?" "I have five questions:
First - whatever happened to the medical health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years in the office as President?
Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?
Fourth - why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
not being black, Hispanic, Asian, gay, Native American, "differently abled," bisexual, suffering from any disease, or poor, or any combination of the above, or being held responsible (by any or all of the above) for all possible repression or oppression, past, present, or future, that may or may not have occurred toward any of the above mentioned groups, or any combination of the above groups (i.e., bisexual Asian midgets with ADD, etc.) or just being a white man. Note that this is a variant of white guilt. The two often appear interchangeable, but don't be fooled -- there are differences. Liberal guilt in its purest form usually involves any or all of the following:
Obsessively sorting household refuse for recycling, then transporting said recycling to the recycling center in a behemoth of an SUV; Involvement in any number of cost-ineffective nonprofit organizations, which must boast slick yet "natural"-looking brochures and periodicals; Spending one's time and energy trying to change/heal/Oprahfy the world not via any sorts of actions, but rather by participation in hackneyed and blasphemous imitations of Eastern religion, positive thinking/visualization, and/or extreme usage of scented candles; and Buying organic. Not to be confused with Liberal quilt. Or libertarian guilt, which occurs whenever a yank visits this page.
How to Identify Liberal Guilt Look for the white guy at the party hanging out in the corner with the black people saying things like "Woah, bro. I'm so sorry about that slavery thing," and/or the dude with countries left to check off on his United Colors of My Dick?world map.